Halloween 2016

Petite Seats January 7, 2018

For the second year in a row we visited the Turtle Back Zoo for Trick-or-Treating the girls had a blast and thankfully the weather was mind.

Walking along the many paths in the zoo in search of candy

Halloween 2016

Petite Seats January 7, 2018

Last summer while on one of my weekly trips to my favorite thrift store I purchased children sized Asian print pajamas for $6 a set. The golden colored set, had a Chinese Mandarin collar and gorgeous frog closures.

To celebrate Halloween the parents in our building decided to setup a little get together in the community room. It was a very informal opportunity for everyone to connect, let the kids run around, and paint pumpkins.

I went to the Dollar Store and purchased a few items to decorate the kids table.

I didn't want the girls to wear such a nice outfit to school, so I went to Walmart and purchased a $10 outfit for their school costume parade.

Visiting Abuelo

Petite Seats January 7, 2018

D's father lives in Connecticut and every couple of months we take the drive up to visit. Unfortunately this last trip I had to work and wasn't able to go with the fam. Needless to say, the kids had a blast and they were able to experience learning how to dance to bachata and merengue.

D and his father's relationship, now this is me looking in, is rather ambivalent. D is indifferent to his father's involvement in his life. While I am like D have you called your father this month, he is like no and makes no fuss about it. Yet, when he does call I notice a peace come over D that wasn't there before. This occurs after we go to visit as well. Because my father is such an important part of my life, it's hard for me to understand D and his father's relationship. So, I just fall back and let him go with the flow. I'm still trying to convince him to get his father to visit us in New Jersey, maybe for Thanksgiving. Let me tell you this man can cook his ass off.

Ten Things That Make Me Really Happy {Long}

Petite Seats January 7, 2018

It’s the seventh day of 2018. The weather outside is a -2 degrees and I am warmly ensconced under a thick comforter and my new electric blanket {Xmas gift from D}. My body has been up since 4am, as is the norm, and I’ve been reflecting. I thought to myself, “Nida as this world goes to shit what do you have to. be happy about?” Welp... indeed if I gave into the worries I have about humanity I would need a truckload of antidepressants, but I try to not dwell in the negative. Each day I give myself a mental slap to stay in the light and push through. I have so many things in life to be happy about. Here is my list of the top ten:

Uno.

MY PARENTS gave me the skills to be a critical thinker, a hustler, empathetic, and a leader. This skill set has allowed to me accomplish much in my 36 short years. I am happy my parents had their shit together and ALWAYS put my sisters and I first.

Dos.

Having two YOUNGER SISTERS prepared me so much for raising my two little girls. I am happy I learned how to be a fierce protector of them at a young age. I am happy I had their hair to experiment on to learn hairstyling. I am happy I know beyond a shadow of a doubt there will always be two people in this world that will ride with me no matter the circumstance.

Tres.

I am happy the universe aligned my path with a HUSBAND who just gets me and allows me to be great. Our ninth wedding anniversary is in a few days so he’ll get a whole post celebrating his awesomeness.

Cuatro.

I am happy my three CHILDREN are such dynamic, intelligent, fantastic little humans. Each day I wake excited for them to share their interpretations of this world with me. I’ve started journaling to each of them with life lessons and affirmations I plan to gift them on their eighteenth birthday. Giving them a jump start into adulthood is my plan.

Cinco.

I am a HEALTHY and fit. This makes me happy because so many in my life depend on pharmaceuticals to get through the day. I am team #NoMeat #SpringWater #NoVaxx

Seis.

I am happy I chose a career I’m able to advance in without major challenges and allows me the flexibility to be an entrepreneur concurrently. I’m not ready to give up that NYC pension honey😏.

Siete.

I am happy my BILLS are paid on time and I can still support my obsession with outfitting my littles with their hearts’ desires. In addition, to this each day I look at my house and feel giddy with the knowledge of how D and I busted our asses and sacrificed to meet on of our long term goals.

Nueve.

I am happy I’ve started a COMPANY I can see myself leaving to my children to run. Building a tangible legacy is important to me. Stocks, good credit, life insurance, real estate, a superior immune system, straight teeth, a business, and common sense are all things I plan to pass on to give them a fresh start into adulthood.

Diez.

I am happy for Amazon KINDLE and all the ratchet and not so ratchet reads I’ve enjoyed on my 3-4 hour daily commute. Love Belvin...Blue Saffire...Kenya Wright...Christina C. Jones..Iris Bolling...Vivian Rose Lee...D Camille...Latrivia Welch...Sienna Mynx...S.K. Hardy...Pepper Pace all give me life and are my drug of choice. Reading their work is the perfect mood stabilizer for my busy life.

Another Photo Shoot

Petite Seats May 31, 2017

For quite a while I've wanted to shoot with CreativeSoul Photography and we finally got the chance! We travelled to Brooklyn to have the dynamic duo capture our latest family portraits.

Our little ones celebrated four and six years this year

In August we will celebrate 17 years together

Holiday 2016 Pictures

Petite Seats May 18, 2017

Following our annual tradition, we got dresses up and had Digna of Digna Toledo Photography capture our family for the holiday season. We shot at the Dixie Dale Christmas Tree farm in Chatham, New Jersey.

Per usual SJ decided she didn't want to smile in any pictures. CC was a trouper and was cheesing away. Lil Papito was like a deer in headlines, he didn't know what was going on.

Holiday Portraits: The Deets

Petite Seats May 18, 2017

This year we went with a black and white theme for holiday portraits. I spent countless hours on EBay searching for inexpensive outfits and I hit pay dirt. Check out the deets below.

The original dress I wanted for the girls was on Aliexpress, but because I had a two week window for ordering it was a no go. These black pickup dresses were cheap and photographed nicely.

Pickup dresses in black with white sash $21.99 each

The girls crystal tiaras were $9.99 each. I have to add this to the red ones we used last year.

I tried a new style for the girls hair, much to D's chagrin. I have a board on Pinterest here called "BabyGirls Hair" (https://www.pinterest.com/petiteseats/babygirls-hair/) where I pin cute, easy to do cornrow and natural hair styles for my littles. This style I did received a pack of synthetic braiding hair and hairpins. The hair was twisted, using two strands of hair. The style took less then ten minutes to do.

The girls in their CrewCuts winter coats

For me, I kept it simple with two goddess braids. Now my outfit was a steal at $31.49 from EBay vendor "alisapanus".

The skirt was a rayon-polyester blend that ironed well and fit like a glove. The top wasn't as nice a quality. There were several loose threads, but for the thirty minutes I wore the outfit it was perfect. There was a lot of sucking in my gut, but I was comfortable.

Thanksgiving 2016

Petite Seats November 25, 2016

This year after we decided to do a non-traditional Thanksgiving. Instead of cooking or dinner at family's we took the Path train into the City. We had dinner and dessert in Chinatown. The girls requested lo mein and tea.

Under the new Freedom Tower at the Path train station

After dinner and dessert we did a little shopping and headed back to New Jersey.

I haven't been feeling very festive in wake of the chaos and strife I read about happening around the world. Take your pick ... Hate crimes are rising... Donald Trump is our President elect... Natives in Dakota are being terrorized...Syria... The days are shorter... Less sunlight. Oh the list seems endless. Hopefully for our babies sake I will be out of this funk by Christmas.

The girls had a blast and got to experience an ethnic neighborhood other then their own. I'd say mission accomplished!

Last Soiree Before Fall

Petite Seats September 26, 2016

My uncle celebrated his 55th birthday with a BBQ celebration. We made the journey down to Somerset County and enjoyed an afternoon in fellowship. My little ones love Uncle Mass and Aunt Sandra's house because of their vast property and their two dogs, Carmelo and LaLa.

Watching CC interact with a younger girl was intriguing. She called the little girl in the picture "the baby". I was enthralled seeing her try to nurture her and tell her not to do things, just like SJ does to her. Kids mimic the behaviors they see, I'm sure when Papito is older and able to move about she will be stuck to him like white on rice.

We welcomed Lita into our family on August 20. She is D's younger cousin from P.R. She has been a tremendous help with the kids and watching Papito since I begun work. I am hoping for a smooth transition from faux stay-at-home mommy to teacher. I pray this school year brings growth and positive changes.

From Private to Public

Petite Seats August 7, 2016

The girls will be making a huge transition from the inimate setting of their former private nursery school to "big" public school. I have so much angst concerning this move. One, it's public school. Well let me further clarify this statement, it's public school in a predominantly black community with a high level of poverty. As an educator who understands the ins and outs of how school districts with these characteristics are often slighted, I'm worried. I'm praying for superb administrators, a decided teaching staff, and a safe environment. Unlike in the suburbs where I would have to worry about their psychological safety more, I'm vexed about the quality of instruction and the behavior of the students.

Two, the class size has me worried, particularly for CC. The student-teacher ratio they have been used to was 10:2, now it will be two-and-a-half times greater (25:2). I'm crossing my fingers this school meets our expectations. I already have the days in September and October when I will be volunteering in their classrooms. I don't want to have any "I'm goin' up the school" moments, so they will know Mrs. Cruz. D and I decided not to inform them of our professions, and see how everything falls into place.

Three, I know the socialization aspect will be a culture shock for the girls because they are coming from a largely Latino environment. With their Crunchy mama, organic lunches in $60 stainless steel bento boxes, and L.L. Bean monogrammed bookbags I hope they fare well. In jest, I tell D he has to learn to do a better job of styling their hair in the morning because little sistahs will talk about their curly, Afros. I don't want them to have a complex.

We are on a fourteen month time table for our dream home. I just hope EO public schools treat us well until we move on over to the country.

Learning To Swim

Petite Seats August 4, 2016

D and I learned to swim as adolescents. We agreed that we wanted the girls to learn much earlier. With the proverbial swift kick from my mother we enrolled them for group and private lessons at our local Y.

via YouTube Capture

Initially, CC was afraid because of her pool scare on Mother's Day. During the second session she did much better and was willing to push through her fear. There is no real way to "drown-proof" your kids, but I want them to learn to swim and be aware of water safety.

via YouTube Capture

According to the CDC:

Between 1999-2010, the fatal unintentional drowning rate for African Americans was significantly higher than that of whites across all ages. The disparity is widest among children 5-18 years old. The disparity is most pronounced in swimming pools; African American children 5-19 drown in swimming pools at rates 5.5 times higher than those of whites. This disparity is greatest among those 11-12 years where African Americans drown in swimming pools at rates 10 times those of whites.

Factors such as access to swimming pools, the desire or lack of desire to learn how to swim, and choosing water-related recreational activities may contribute to the racial differences in drowning rates. Available rates are based on population, not on participation. If rates could be determined by actual participation in water-related activities, the disparity in minorities’ drowning rates compared to whites would be much greater. SOURCE

So why don't more Black people learn how to swim?! According to Southgate the problem has its roots in slavery, where most problems for Black folks began, "it has been documented that before slavery, many West Africans could and did swim. But a slave who could swim was a slave with another means of escape, so slave owners went to great lengths to make it impossible to keep this skill alive." The article goes on to say, "Later, segregation took its ugly toll at public beaches and pools. According to the historian Jeff Wiltse in an NPR interview, “whites set up, essentially, sentinel guards at the entrance to the pool, and when black swimmers tried to come in and access them, they were beaten up, sometimes with clubs.” One white motel manager was caught on camera pouring acid into a pool in which blacks were staging a 'swim-in.' Institutionalized racism was shored up by specious scholarship, like a 1969 report titled 'The Negro and Learning to Swim: The Buoyancy Problem Related to Reported Biological Difference.'” SOURCE

All in all our little ones will be excellent swimmers and will be well aware of how to ride out a rip current while at the beach. By next year this time they will have had hundreds of hours of swim time at the EO YMCA.

Maternal Death In The United States

Onida Cruz August 4, 2016

My baby sister just lost a friend. She was a L+D nurse who died less than a week after having a CSection. In addition to being a new mommy, she was a newlywed. It's such a shame, and according to my sister her CSection was not medically necessary. Women are dying because of the method in which they have decided to give birth and its definitely being sweep under the proverbial rug. I have gotten into many heated argument with women who feel they is nothing wrong with having a CSection and that its better for their baby. I won't get on my soapbox and rant about my response to such ignorance, but I will offer you the cold, hard facts. Please check them out and make a more informed decision.

The Facts

The United States has a higher ratio of maternal deaths than at least 40 other countries, even though it spends more money per capita for maternity care than any other.{Source} {Source}
The lack of a comprehensive, confidential system of ascertainment of maternal death designed to record and analyze every maternal death continues to subject U.S. women to unnecessary risk of preventable mortality. Maternal deaths must be reviewed to make motherhood safer. The United Kingdom’s Confidential Enquiry into Maternal and Child Health is considered the “gold standard” of national professional self-evaluation. {Source} {Source}
Whenever a maternal death occurs in the UK, CEMACH is automatically notified, and a multidisciplinary team of individuals who do not work at the hospital where the death occurred is dispatched to review all of the woman’s records. In sharp contrast, when a maternal death takes place in the US, there is usually no review of the case external to the hospital in question, and all employees with knowledge of the death are warned to keep silent about it. {Source}
Gut colonization by microbes is delayed in C-sectioned babies, which may explain in part why these infants have a harder time fighting off infections. {Source}
Another vital point: We have a US Standard Certificate of Death. In 1979 and 1989, it was proposed that this certificate should include a question asking if the deceased had been pregnant in the year previous to death. Inclusion of this question has been shown to significantly increase the count of maternal deaths. Amazingly, this question was not adopted in the US Standard Certificate until 2003. However—and this is a big however—the federal government does not require that the states use the US Standard Certificate, and most still don’t! {Source}

The list can go on and on. I completely understand the need for a CSection in an emergency situation. However, what I have witnessed is women being bullied into unnecessary interventions that lead to their baby's being in distress and ultimately CSections.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/witw/articles/2013/06/02/babies-born-by-cesarean-section-may-not-gain-benefits-of-vaginal-microbiome.html

No Thumb Sucking

Petite Seats August 4, 2016

SJ has lost five teeth in four months. When she lost her top central incisors four months after her fifth birthday I was vexed. I've never seen a five year old with so many missing teeth. Initially I made an appointment with our dentist to get a checkup, but I said forget it I'm being outrageous and chalked it up to her being an early bloomer. It's not so much the fact of her missing so many teeth, but the thought of her having severely mal-aligned teeth because she is a thumb sucker.

Talking to my five year old

According to her five year old logic sucking her thumb isn't the problem, not brushing her teeth would be a more pressing issue. Lord, I'm so not ready. This little one challenges me at ever turn. Each day is a battle of wills and my patience. I plan to show her the pictures below to appeal to her vanity. Cross your fingers that this works.

Maybe after seeing this I can get her to stop without being heavy handed.

Lord knows I'm trying to alleviate spending thousands of dollars with orthodontists.

Racism + Black Women + PreTerm Labor

Onida Cruz February 3, 2016

African-American women are significantly more likely to lose a baby in the first year of life than white women, in an enduring medical mystery. It exists at all income and education levels, but is widest among more affluent, highly educated women. A college-educated black woman in the United States is more likely to lose her baby than a white woman with only a high school education. An African-American woman who starts prenatal care in her first trimester is more likely to lose her baby than a white woman with late or no prenatal care. A black woman who does not smoke has worse birth outcomes than a white woman who smokes. Read more here.

I am currently in the ninth month (36 weeks) of my third pregnancy. At 33 weeks I experienced the biggest scare of my life when I began to show signs of preterm labor. On Sunday night, during one of my fifteen nightly trips to the bathroom, I noticed I was spotting. I told myself I would wait until the morning to see if the spotting continued. Sure enough I woke Monday morning, with heavier spotting, unusual pelvic pressure, and contractions. I immediately called my midwife and was given a 9:00 am office appointment. At the appointment I was placed on the tocodynamometer to monitor any contractions. After an hour of showing no signs of contractions, I was given a fetal fibronectin test (FFT). During this exam my midwife noticed the bleeding and said I was 2cm dilated. She gave me a speech about the data showing Black women have high rates of preterm labor, but Black baby girls in NICU fare better than any other race of babies. At the end of her disquisition she got on the phone with the hospital to tell them she was sending me with my FFT to get a sonogram, steriods, and blood tests.

In the end, I had a negative FFT, but was put on modified bed rest for three weeks (until week 35). This experience lead me to do more research on the disparity pre term births in African American women. Below are some of the facts I've found during my preliminary research.

Baby Cruz #3 is giving mama a run for her money... Literally...

What is preterm labor?!

Preterm labor is the birth of a baby at less than 37 weeks gestation. According to the CDC's website here,

"an estimated 15 million babies are born too early every year. In 2014, preterm birth affected about 1 of every 10 infants born in the United States... Preterm birth is the greatest contributor to infant death, with most preterm-related deaths occurring among babies who were born very preterm (before 32 weeks). Preterm birth is also a leading cause of long-term neurological disabilities in children. A developing baby goes through important growth during the final weeks and months of pregnancy. Many organ systems, including the brain, lungs, and liver need the final weeks of pregnancy to fully develop."

What are the consequences of preterm birth?!

There is a higher risk of serious disability or death the earlier the baby is born. Some problems that a baby born too early may face include—

Preterm births also may cause emotional and economic burdens for families. Learn more about preterm birth.

What are the stats worldwide?!

Across 184 countries, the rate of preterm birth ranges from 5% to 18% of babies born (Source). In 2014, the premature birth rate in the United States was about 9.6%. The percentage of premature births in the United States has decreased 8% since 2007; however, large differences in risk of preterm birth remain for racial and ethnic groups. In 2014, black infants were about 50% more likely to be born preterm than white, Hispanic, and Asian/Pacific Islander infants.

The infant mortality rate among black infants is 2.4 times higher than that of white infants, primarily due to preterm birth. In the United States, the risk of preterm birth for Non-Hispanic black women is approximately 1.5 times the rate seen in white women.

The 10 countries with the greatest number of preterm births:

India: 3 519 100
China: 1 172 300
Nigeria: 773 600
Pakistan: 748 100
Indonesia: 675 700
The United States of America: 517 400
Bangladesh: 424 100
The Philippines: 348 900
The Democratic Republic of the Congo: 341 400
Brazil: 279 300

The 10 countries with the highest rates of preterm birth per 100 live births:

Malawi: 18.1 per 100
Comoros: 16.7
Congo: 16.7
Zimbabwe: 16.6
Equatorial Guinea: 16.5
Mozambique: 16.4
Gabon: 16.3
Pakistan: 15.8
Indonesia: 15.5
Mauritania: 15.4

Why are African America women more prone to preterm labor?

"The more complex answer, some researchers say, has to do with stress - not only during pregnancy but during a lifetime of being black in America. Stress elevates certain hormones that are known to trigger labor; it may increase susceptibility to infections that are linked to premature delivery." {Source here}

As I do more research on the topic I will post interesting findings on the blog. Until then be well, stay healthy, and enjoy each day as if it were your last.

Vaccinated Shedding

Onida Cruz January 25, 2016

Interesting video, with research based evidence that addresses the question, "Are virus outbreaks due to the unvaccinated?"

Is Annual Pap Necessary?!

Onida Cruz January 25, 2016

This morning I read an article published on Slate.com titled, "Doctors are examining your genitals for no reason". Author, Amanda Hess, introduces new research presented in the Annals of Internal Medicine that states the following:

there is no established medical justification for the annual procedure. After scouring nearly 70 years of pelvic exam studies, conducted from 1946 to 2014, the researchers found no evidence that they lead to any reduction in “morbidity or mortality of any condition” among women. In light of the study, the American College of Physicians, a national organization of internists, has crafted a new set of guidelines warning doctors that exams conducted on otherwise symptomless women can “subject patients to unnecessary worry and follow-up” and can “cause anxiety, discomfort, pain, and embarrassment, especially in women whohave a history of sexual abuse.”

Now this excerpt had me think of all the poking and probing I have experienced since leaving the care of my pediatrician. "In 2010, doctors performed 62.8 million of these routine pelvic examinations on women across America. In total, gynecological screenings cost the U.S. $2.6 billion every year." As with most of the "interventions" proposed by this country's medical profession is this about women's preventative care or the all mighty dollar?!

The Contracting Power of the Uterus

Onida Cruz January 24, 2016

We think in pictures and we should be painting accurate pictures. The cervix nor the vagina bloom. The cervix is not a zip lock bag. The purpose of labor is NOT the creation of an opening or a hole... The purpose of labor contractions and retractions is to BUILD the fundus, which will, when it is ready, EJECT the baby, like a piston. Without a nice thick fundus there is no power to get baby out....the cervix does not dilate out....it dilates UP as a result of the effort to pull muscles up into the uterus to push muscles up to the fundus. The cervical dilation is secondary to that. The cervix is pulled up as a result of the building of the fundus. Assigning a number to cervical dilation is of little consequence and we make a huge mistake by interpreting progress or predicting time of birth to that number. Any experienced midwife or OB can tell you that the cervix can be manipulated and that a woman whose cervix is at 7 could have the baby in a few minutes or a few hours.

If more providers and educators knew the truth about birth physiology, we could make a huge difference for mothers. What is important is to keep her well supported for the purpose of the appropriate chemistry, to keep her well hydrated and nourished for muscle strength, and to believe in her. We should be supporting her so that her physiology and that of her baby are unhindered, so they can finish what they started.

We should not be measuring, poking, or interpreting her labor. THIS CHANGE in teaching about labor could make such a difference for women who are imagining what is happening in their bodies during labor. How much more strength might they have if they have an accurate picture?"

Source: Carla Hartley

Catching Up in 2015

Onida Cruz August 25, 2015

It's been almost nine months since I've blogged and I have so much to share. I am going to definitely use this as a platform to share my daily journey through life with two little ones and a hubby, but I will add the bonus element of sharing my views on the current state of the world. So much heartache and strife is rapid and I just need to let go, release, and put my opinions in the mix. Get ready because I plan to be candid, to the point, and I'm sure offensive to someone out there.

Here are some pics of the family from the last nine months.