Need Help — Mama's Ponderings

Beginning last Thursday I began going to participate in the Daniel Cruz Post Pregnancy Get Your Ass Right Workout Plan. Every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday for two hours until Labor Day we will be training together. It will be quite interesting . . . {written on 7/21/11}

Fast forward a week. We ain't did nothing!! Two hours workouts, one crunch, a push-up -- Nada. I've been too tired! D reminds me everyday since last week that I've been losing weight -- yeah right-- I don't see it. I'm borderline depressed. This extra fat around my belly is the worst. I can deal with my shoe size increase and wider hips but a big gut and a big butt is not cute no way any day.

Everyday {Monday through Thursday} I wake up at 4:30 in the morning, pump, drink 16 ounces of water, and roll out to ride the 7:00 train into Manhattan. I teach my GED prep class until 1:00, then I go to Chipolte for lunch. I get back home at approximately 3:15. As soon as I get home I pump again, because at this point in my day I have lopsided tits and an extreme pressure on my chest. So I pump and relieve D of babysitting duties {really Lil' D and I go take a 2-3 hour nap}. Two days a week I tutor two little girls for an hour-- more prep. Come Friday I am drained. Every Friday I go to my hair stylist and sit in her chair nodding hard as she blows my hair straight.

What's a girl to do? I'm working like a Hebrew slave to maintain the lifestyle I've been accustomed, but I'm sacrificing the precious essential part of life-- sleep. Oh forgot to mention Lil D is not sleeping through the night yet so I'm up 3-4 times feeding her. AND I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE IT EASY ON MYSELF AND GIVE HER CEREAL BEFORE 6 MONTHS.

Woe is me . . .

Lately I've been feeling bad (mentally) because of the condition of my house. Both my brother-in-laws came to visit and basically said the same thing. One said, "Wow it looks like you guys just moved in." The other said, "Ummm okay Nida I don't want to step on anything soooo where should I put this." I laugh out loud when I hear remarks about my house keeping - it's been going on since we moved in this house some six years. I never really felt bashful about it until now. I blame it on my pregnancy and the surge in hormones. Typically I arrive home from work at about 4:45 p.m. and all I want to do is lie down and relax- which is what I do. At about 6:30 p.m. I'll get up to prepare dinner- I cook 3-4 days a week. By 8:00 p.m. I'm exhausted and prepare for bed.

Prior to being pregnant my routine was the same, except I was working two jobs so I was much more worn out. I have had conversations with my sisters, mother, mother-in-law, and husband about my lack of tidiness and they just don't seem to understand. My mother's favorite line is "what will you do when the baby arrives?" Well suh after waking at the crack of dawn to prepare for work in another state (NJ to NYC) I just don't have the wherewithal to clean house. Vacuuming and dusting please! I know they are necessary evils, but every week?! The same goes for washing clothes. I'm terrible I can go without washing clothes for a month- yes quite trifling! I'm used to buying new clothes instead of washing the dirty ones.

As I told my brother-in-law, if I didn't work then you should be worried because then I would just be a shiftless you-know-what. So let me paint a picture for you so you don't think I'm living in a pigsty. My bathrooms and kitchen remain spotless because they are the breeding place for bacteria and germs. Every other room in my house is littered with books (romance novels), stacks of paper (my research), and clothes (clean- because I wash and leave them in the laundry bag). Nothing really has its proper place, so a big pile on the floor is perfect. : ) Its funny when my husband complains about my stacks of books and papers I tell him to hire a maid. Of course he refuses so the problem persists. What's a girl to do?!*

Enough about my lack of house keeping. My brother-in-law volunteered to paint Baby Cruz's nursery, so today he and I went to Home Depot and purchased $160 worth of painting supplies for him to complete the job. Because we won't know the sex of our baby until he/she arrives in March I decided to paint the room in a neutral grey color- Winter's Day to be exact. See below.