I know I blogged about this topic before here, but after reading the recent Roland S. Martin article titled
It’s Time To Stop Being So Sensitive About Discussing Out-Of-Wedlock Children I wanted to share some of his insights on the topic.
As I walked through NYC Penn Station this morning I began to reflect on the article and I took note of the women I saw with children and no wedding band {this is not to say they were not married or in a committed relationship, but I'm just saying}.
Martin's article speaks about the attitude of much of America on the epidemic of single parent households. He highlights how people are quick to defend the strong, able-bodied single mother and not really delve deep into how single parent households are weakening the social-emotional and financial future for many young people today. It is no longer taboo to be raised this way, it's become blasé. Shit if Kourtney Kardashian can do it why can't I? This is the mentality of many young girls I teach. It's never I can't wait to have a wedding and a husband. Instead I hear he is going to be my baby's father. What the hell?! Chile, as a teacher of young adults I hear it ALL. From which weed gives you the best high to how you can tell if a girl is a slide (NYC lingo for a girl that is promiscuous). Now I know my upbringing makes me very biased on the subject-- but come on?! If you were raised by a single parent wouldn't you want to have your kids in a two-family household? Maybe not. I just think that if people were more discerning about their sex partners as they are about their outfits then more people would be in healthy, monogamous relationships. Families would be healthier, kids would do better in school, and Onida would be more optimistic about her young daughter's future.
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40% of the households in this country are run by one parent.
70% of the households of African Americans are single parents.
Is this by design?
Where do you fall into this dichotomy?
Article Highlights:
This week, the Republican candidates discussed the issue at their debate in Arizona. When Rick Santorum was asked about the issue of contraception, he said: “What we’re seeing is a problem in our culture with respect to children being raised by children, children being raised out of wedlock, and the impact on society economically, the impact on society with respect to drug use and all — a host of other things when children have children … The bottom line is we have a problem in this country, and the family is fracturing.
What bothers me is that when the issue of single parents arises, too many become defensive without honestly dealing with the question. Yes, Blow’s children may be doing great, but a lot of children aren’t, along with their single moms and dads.
A year ago while speaking on a panel for Alonzo Mourning’s foundation, I was discussing the perils of getting pregnant too early and out-of-wedlock to a packed ballroom of middle- and high-school students, and a group of young women who were present — and pregnant — got really upset. As I walked around the room afterwards, one of their counselors told me of their comments and said they wanted to speak to me.
It’s a natural reaction to stand up for your mom. But we must stop acting as if raising a child alone is a desirable situation for most. As Santorum and Romney said, raising a child alone is difficult, and the economics of a single income in the home makes that even more of a struggle.
